eBay with NiceOL has the 7-in-1 Emergency Survival Whistle Camping Tool (Olive Green) for $2.30 + $1.48 shipping = $3.78 shipped. Integrated with a whistle, magnifying glass, signal mirror, compass, thermometer , small container and white LED light.
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Used in Dave's tactical neighborhood night time toilet papering squad to signal when it's time to commence and conclude a TPing operation. It was also used once to signal Dave that one of the guys in the squad needed to use the bathroom real bad...
A tactical whistle for ghetto dogs uses a higher frequency humans can't hear.
Yeah, cuz you modified the the standard whistle hole to your exacting high frequency specifications and use a specially modified amplified hearing aid receiver to hear the ultrasonic frequency.
It's just one of the many pieces of high-tech tactical toilet papering equipment pushed to its maximum performance capabilities that's used in the squad...
What's the policy on returns for this item ?
If I'm out camping and become involved in an emergency survival situation (bear attack, snake stampede, Bigfoot amorous attack) and I am killed, will my family be able to return this for a full refund ?
Or will there be the standard "15% restocking fee" ?
If you eat chili and insert this in your bunghole, you can make tactical farts. Or so I hear...