eBay with 1SaleADay has the Ace 5-in-1 Stainless Steel Pocket Survival Tool for $3 with free shipping. Includes a knife edge, philips and flat-head screwdrivers, pliers, and a saw blade.
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Son: "Dad, are we lost?"
Dad: " I wouldn't say lost... More like disoriented.... But don't worry, I have my Ace 5-in-1 Stainless Steel Pocket Survival Tool I bought through Ben's Bargains with me so we'll be OK..."
Child: (inner dialogue) I hope this jack-ass doesn't end up killing us both. I should have stayed home and played Nintendo...