Amazon with 2Go Products has the Luxe Bidet MB110 Fresh Water Spray Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment for $33 with free shipping. Features quick installation and a retractable nozzle spray.
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Spraying ice-cold water at your unsuspecting cornholio doesn't sound like my idea of fun.
At least it'll stay shut for a while.
Good for Mom to use to wash out your mouth out after you swore a naughty word...