Newegg has McAfee Internet Security 2013 - 3PC (MIS13EMB3RAA) for $60 - $60 rebate [Exp 12/13] = $0 with free shipping. Normally found for $22+ on the web. Features anti-virus scanning, spam filter, customizable parental controls, and secure online data storage.
Does it include a one way ticket to Belize?
Lesson learn: don't do security business and live in Belize at the same time.
Bath Salts and playing with knives doesn't mix well...