Amazon has the Pure Clean Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment for $29 with free shipping. Uses no electricity and attaches to existing hot and cold water bathroom fixtures.
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Warning: this shoots water up your ass
You might have it set to deep cleaning mode... If not, you might try aiming it at your bacon for a bounce shot...
I can only imagine the "excitement" of hitting the wrong control and receiving an ice cold enema at 3 AM while still in a sleepy fog.
I will pass on this one....
^ Well there's always this model - http://bensbargains.net/deal/karcher-k-2-27-cck-1600-psi-power-washer-89-at-amazon-281970/