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So, is the massage simulated or the leather, or the tan? I'm guessing all three since its a WalMart Special and will burn out in quick order.

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Bathing apes, #2? WTF?

i just ordered a pair of obama shoes

#2 Join the Marines. They'll give you 2 pairs of combat boots for free.

Actually you are charged for all your gear in the military, all services. If you loose or have them blown off your body because your legs are gone, you WILL be charged but you will have hell being taken care of for your "great service" If any of you TV rambos really knew anything about the services you would have a different opinion but you think they fight fire breathing dragons. Well we havent won a war since 1945. We couldnt even beat a bunch or bicycle pushers in white cut off shirts. I dont now how to break it to you but attacking children with robot or invisible planes is cowardly, if I need to explain this to you, you are hopeless and lost.

#6 - My guess is that you have never served in the military. A true soldier would'nt say the things you said. Or you got kicked out of the military. Come on fess up.....the pinnacle of your military career was reaching level 5 in An Army of One? Right? You dork....

just WHAT THE burp DOES ALL OF YOUR CHILDISH BANTER have to do with a cheap assed chair from walmart? YOU carrotHEADS ACT AS THOUGH THIS IS A STAGE AND YOU ARE ALL SUCH GREAT PERFORMERS.....GROW THE burp UP DOUCHEBAGS...

Today's soldier in iraq or afghanistan lies around all day playing video games, macking on women, drinking beer, and pigging out. Then they come back and get on welfare.

#9 is a dirty commie whose angry at her army husband. #6 is her army husband. #2 knows what he's talking about, nothing beats bathing apes, not even simulated leather massages.

Lt. Uhura called. Captain Kirk wants his massage chair back.

#1, specs says: "Tan *simulated leather* upholstery on wide armrests"
so basically some kind of yellow synthetic material

Actually, #6, in the US military you are only charged for 'durable' field gear (rucksack, entrenching tool, etc...) you do not return at the end of your enlistment (Instead of "loose" I think you meant "lose" as in LOSER who can't spell).
Haven't won a war since 1945? Did you SLEEP through Desert Shield and Desert Storm (Persian Gulf 1)? My unit alone had 12,000 of Iraq's finest surrender to us in 1 week...the "Elite Red Guard" of Iraq couldn't surrender any faster because they couldn't find anything white to wave; their generals made it a firing squad offense to even be caught with anything white on their bodies.
The US military has issues to be sure, but when the baconnaise hits the fan, I'd much rather be on this side of the table.