Buy.com has the refurbished VuPoint Solutions PDS ST410-VP Digital Handheld Scanner for $60 with free shipping. Features 300dpi resolution, 28 second color scanning, 14 second monochrome scanning, and runs off USB power or 2 x AA batteries. Dimension 1.20" Height x 1.10" Width x 10" Length.
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Use this in your office to scan your buttocks